Being Still.

I got in a fight today... with myself. 

Sam went off to work, and then I sat there with my cup of coffee in hand. What to do? Hmm.. I could go back to sleep. I could fold the laundry. I could do the dishes. I could tackle more of my To-Do list. Or I could read my Bible and spend some quality time with Jesus. 

Honestly... at first, I almost just go up to fold laundry.

Why is that? Why is it such a struggle to sit and read God's Holy Word and spend quality time with the Maker of the Universe? Sometimes it feels like we HAVE to and not that we GET to.. by His grace alone.

It's like making yourself do homework when you would much rather clean your whole house than sit and do your work..

This is what made me so mad at myself.

Being with Jesus is not work and it should never feel like it is.

I have had the hardest time lately in just... being still. Quiet. Before God and leaning into Him for my needs. And ya know what?

Ya can tell. 

My husband can FOR SURE tell that I haven't been sitting with Jesus and being still. Not that I start beating him and drinking or anything that 'bad', but sin is sin, and I am shorter with him and serving him seems more of a chore than an overflow of my heart.

And yes, I pray and glance at some Scripture and think through it daily. 

But there is a big difference in that and sitting and intimately opening your heart before the Lord and learning from Him. 

And that's what I had been missing.

I did not get up and do the dishes. Or laundry. Or anything else that ultimately would have no eternal value for my soul in that moment.

No, the right choice was to open my Bible and learn. And let Him teach and heal and do whatever He was going to do.

And I will never have a moment where I am obedient to Him that I regret. Nope. He is life-giving and life-changing.

Oh, and Ruthie was a sweet, little model for me today. Look at this face!